Bwease Explain Yourself

Q1373 Summary on the pokemon Bweasel.

There's not a Bweasel in Pokemon. "Bweasel" is almost typo-range for Sneasel, but alas, Asker is likely sounding out "Buizel". How can you ask for a summary of the Pokemon if you can't spell it? If you've never encountered it, why do you need such a thing? I'm asking the questions here, because Asker isn't asking any at all.

a1373 Bweasel (actually Buizel is a water type Pokemon.

(Yeah, I accidentally didn't close my parenthesis. I hope your OCD has fun with that.

Fire Starter

Q1330 where do you get number 1 he you already got number 4 on the pokedex on pokemon soulsilver

Did "he" already get number 4, or was that "you"? Some quick detective work suggests that "he" is a reasonable T9  or auto-correct mistake for "if". So, the lesson here is that a) Pokedex entries have no bearing on one another, and b) Game Freak are punks who don't want you to see a Chikorita. It's true; we've covered this before. Anyway, trading is necessary to get Chikorita in the 'dex.

a1330 Depending on which starter you chose, you might not be able to obtain entries 1-3 in the Pokedex without trading.

Anotheriff on Fossils

Q1312 If I already used the claw fossil and got Armaldo, would I get a different pokemon if I got the claw fossil again?

In the Pokemon series, you usually get one of each fossil, so this question should seem odd for that reason alone. The Claw Fossil, however, does appear twice in Emerald, and because there's not another sane reason to ask this question, we'll assume Asker is playing Emerald Version. The question then becomes: Do you know how fossils work? They're not lottery tickets, for chrissakes. They correspond to specific Pokemon, numbnuts, and you'll be getting Anorith (not Armaldo, the evolved form of Anorith) again.

True to form, I didn't bother answering this one, either.

Rare Candies, Common Math

Q1158 How many rare candies does it take for a level 65 pokemon to reach to 100?

You do know what a rare candy does, right? Upon reading this a second time, I suppose a valid question is "reach to 100" what?

65 + X = 100, bro.

a1158 It would take 35 rare candies.

The Newtwo Games

Q1132 is there any new pokemon games comming out

This poor fan must be living under a rock. Normally "is" would be the right verb, as Pokemon third entries typically involve just one game, but Nintendo threw us a curve ball, and Pokemon Black 2 and White 2 *are* on their way to us soon.

a1132 By the end of this year, Pokemon Black 2 and Pokemon White 2 will be released worldwide.

Poliwhere Now?

Q1019 Where can i trade my poliwag for a better pokemon in pokemon red?

What do you think, that there's some sort of used Pokemon dealership or something? Your best bet is to find a friend, seeing as there are 151 Pokemon in Red Version and only a small handful of in-game tra--. . . wait a minute, there's actually a useful answer to this question?! Color me surprised.

a1019 If you evolve Poliwag into Poliwhirl, you can trade it for a Jynx in Cerulean City.

Surge: Trash Picker

Q986 wat is the pattern to the switches n lt. surges gym n pokemon blue

Do you wish to play a video game or be spoon-fed cheesy dialogue? Look, everyone who's played the game knows that the only thing to do here is guess. In fact, IGN's FAQ declares guessing to be mandatory.

a986 Once you've found one switch, the other will be in an adjacent garbage can.

Uno: Unova

Q882 How do u get to other regions in pokemon white

Ya don't! HeartGold and SoulSilver is a rare treat, youngster. On a sidenote, Game Freak, please make a game with all the regions in it, or at least the five main-series regions. Pretty please?

a882 Unova is the only accessible region in Pokemon White.

Get Eggcited

Q853 How many eggs are in pokemon black?

Dude--just take a couple hundred more steps, and there'll be another egg. The game will keep obliging you so long as you're that bored. "Ah, it's you! We were raising your Pokemon, and my goodness we were surprised! Your Pokemon was holding an egg. We don't know how it got there, but your Pokemon had it. You do want it, don't you?" Such a clever old man. He knows exactly how it got there, and he's produced THOUSANDS.

a853 As many as you want.

Intrinsic Inquisition

Q773 Do i go in the secret intrence or the regualar intrence to find garatina in pokemon diamond

a773 The secret entrance will probably lead you to Giratina, but I have no idea what you're referring to.

Labs: How Do They Work?

Q612 Are there people in laboratories trying to make real pokemon?

Yeah, you know how scientists love to create new species for the sake of making them kill each other. This question isn't even funny; it's just a waste of electrons.

a612 Magic 8 Ball says: Maybe.

That Thing Pikachu Does

Q540 What is pikachu's attack off of pokemon

...there are plenty, but I can see why you're asking because the obscure names can be hard to remember. I mean, "Thunder Shock", "Thunder Wave", "Thunderbolt", and "Thunder" are so counter-intuitive.

a540 Pikachu's signature move is Thunderbolt.

Money (That's What I Want)

Q505 What would you want to do before defeating the pokemon league in version black?

Well, since you asked... I'd like to take a long walk on that digital beach before my enthusiasm for the main story line floats away with N. I'd also like to repeatedly stomp all over Bianca's Pokemon. And catch Kyurem. But that's just me.

a505 -Spoiler Alert- Stock up on Ultra Balls to catch Reshiram.

My Chap

Q445 When does Machap level up in Pokemon blue version

Although I appreciate that I often appear to be an asshole about spelling, grammar, and really just the English language in general, the meaning here is severely mangled. Does Asker mean "level up", or was he (most likely) looking for the verb "evolve"? Are we talking about MachaMp or MachOp? Whatever, here goes nothing:

a445 Machoke evolves into Machamp when traded.

None of the Above

Q423 Are pokemon heart gold and soul silver for gameboy advanced or gameboy color?

a423 Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver are for Nintendo DS.

From the Desk of Prof. Elm

Q411 Where can i find a trainer with chicorita in pokemon soulsilver

What on earth...? I mocked a similar inquiry, perhaps even from the same person, saying "You want to know where you can defeat a Chikorita?" YES. Yes this guy does. With a little investigation, it turns out that you cannot have Chikorita in your National Dex if you choose Cyndaquil. Yet even that cannot save the steaming turd that is this question. Ask a friend if they'll give you an egg that will hatch into one. Or, if you have no friends, ask the GTS for a Bayleef or Meganium, which are in your National Dex, and breed that on your own. Just accept this as a side-effect of a game that tries its best to encourage trading. Speaking of which, Chikorita is on Professor Elm's desk the whole time. He couldn't simply, you know, slip you a peek so you can obtain data for his own Pokedex? Yeah, screw you, Gamefreak.

a411 You must trade to have Chikorita in your National Dex.

My Signature Move (maybe)

Text signatures: annoying, obnoxious, and sometimes worthy of mockery.

Even people who ask reasonable questions occasionally maim their reputations with laughable handles at the end. Are these individuals worthy of a special corner in this blog--"Pokedope Sigs"? If this post can collect 10 votes in favor, it shall be.

Stater Pokemon

Q351 What are the other 2 stater pokemon in pokemon crystal?

Aside from the comical lack of the letter "r" in "starter", this post is missing something. Can you figure it out?

a351 That largely depends on which starter you chose.

For Starters

Q328 In pokemon soul silver, will any trainers carry starter pokemon?

Uh... you carry a starter Pokemon, so that's one. Your rival, so there's two. If you've played Pokemon before (which seems unlikely), you'd know that there are a handful of others, but that it *doesn't* *matter.* Why is this even being asked?! You want to know where you can defeat a Chikorita? You certainly can't *catch* someone else's starter Pokemon. This question was in fact so pointless I forgot to answer it.

Pokemon in Wilmington?

Q320 Where do you get Pokemon games in Wilmington Delaware?

...Surely this is laziness. Certainly you are asking this because you have no data plan and the computer is in the other room. There is no obscure ban or blacklisting of Pokemon in Wilmington, nor are GameStops scarce. There are more than three. Asker must have seen one before. Jeez. Sorry for the extended absence guys, I was gearing up for VGC.

a320 GameStop is a great source of Pokemon games, and there are multiple GameStops in the Wilmington area.