Poké-Penny-Pincher

Q229 in pokemon soul silver do you get your poke ball back if you release a pokemon

Sounds like someone used their Master Ball. You can't reuse Pokeballs that never even housed a Pokemon. This is just pitiful. I sincerely hope the person asking this is 8 years old and playing Pokemon for the first time. On the other hand, that means eight year-olds are running around with cell phones. Protip: A Pokeball is a lot like a diaper. Side note: unless the asker wants their Master Ball back, WHAT A BUM! 200 Pokedollars too rich for your blood?

a229 Absolutely not. A Pokeball is a one-use item.

Cheaters

Q208 Cheat to walk throw walls on pokemon pearl

Warning: this post will be long and at times will resemble a rant.

I'll begin with the easiest target: this person's manners. Ask a question, don't state your demands. Second easiest target: "walk throw walls". Honestly, auto-correct is not that bad. Furthermore, it is highly recommended that you read what you type if you expect an accurate answer. But wait! I have a beef with the question's content, too! When I received my first question from a cheater, I figured there was no harm, I'd give the guy a solid answer and we'd both be on our way. The Service is smarter than that. Successfully answering one question about Action Replay was an invitation to be asked half a dozen more. Entering AR codes into one's cell phone is tedious and I do not care for it. Manners were once again a factor, as these cheaters seemed to have none. Lesson learned, don't respond to questions asking for cheats. I have nothing against cheaters--just rude, unknowing cheaters who happen to use the Service as their primary source. Phew.

PS: Is there a cheat to walk through walls in Pearl...?

Who's yo daddy?

Q196 On Pokemon White why dont it never show my dad?

Despite the glaring double-negative here, I think this question is probably one worth asking. Whoever asked was probably just joking around, but I looked into it anyway. A thread on Serebii offered a few opinions. What do you think? I went with this postulate:

a196 Your dad isn't shown because he's not in the game. Some have speculated that the reason Pokemon protagonists lack fathers is that Pokemon's creator did not have a strong father figure in his life.

I Pikachu, Twist Mountain

Q146 What city is twist mountain in the pokemon special pikachu edition?

I'm inclined to say there's a 50% chance that this question is just a troll! I swear, some people must be googling where to find Pokemon, then combining those locations with totally unrelated versions. I say this because I also got a question asking where the "ice path" was in White version.

a146 Twist Mountain doesn't exist in Pokemon Yellow: Special Pikachu Edition.

Non Amo

Q106 What are the que pokemon?

I don't know what to tell you, dude. I don't think "que pokemon" exist. I assumed this individual had read something in Spanish.

a106 "que" is a Spanish word meaning "that" or "what".

Gible On This

Q97 In pokemon diamond is gible hard to find

Here we have a classic mistake: the yes/no question. By all means, ask these when a simple yes or no will actually suffice--but our asker doesn't care if Gible is hard to find, asker wants to know where to find one. I probably should have said something like "Yes, Gible is nearly impossible to locate so good luck!" Instead:

a97 Gible can be found in the basement of Wayward Cave, where it has a somewhat low encounter rate.

Wizard Pokemon

Q86 if pikachoo and hermione had babies, would they be wizard pokemon?

a86 All Pokemon are Wizard Pokemon, because Wizard licenses the Pokemon trading card game. For magical powers, Hermione & Alakazam would produce better results.

Who would win in a fight?

Q71 Who would win in a fight,pokemon or yu-gi-oh?

I smiled when I read this. Thankfully it didn't reach the cell phone of a Yu-Gi-Oh lover instead (I hope). No serious answer could be given here, I had to knock Yu-Gi-Oh out of the park with a witbat. My task was clear, but there were so many directions I could go! Ultimately I decided on this:

a71 Considering that Yu-Gi-Oh beasts are summoned from cards, I would think a single Flamethrower from a Charizard could destroy thousands of Yu-Gi-Oh monsters.

Your menus? Know them!

Q59 What happens when u use a moon stone on eevee in pokemon fire red

There are at least three reasons why this question is moronic. First: If you've played Pokemon before, you would know that the last bit of information is unnecessary. A Moon Stone does the same thing to Eevee as it did in RBY, GSC, RSE, DPPt, and BW: Nothing. Second: If you actually had Pokemon FireRed in front of you, you would be able to select the Moon Stone, and Eevee would have "UNABLE" next to it. If reason two doesn't apply, refer to reason the Third: You clearly don't have Pokemon FireRed in front of you, so WHY are you asking this?

a59 Nothing happens when you use a Moon Stone on Eevee.

There Are Dumb Questions, and People Ask them About Pokemon

We've all heard the expression "there's no such thing as a dumb question", an anecdote to encourage struggling students to speak up when they're confused. Though it might have its place in the classroom, this quip is false. There are dumb questions, and people ask them about Pokemon every day. With my smaller chunks of free time (like standing in line at the grocery store), I answer questions pro bono for a text messaging service that shall remain anonymous. Occasionally I get a meaningful or humorous inquiry, but mostly I receive dreadful English, a poor grasp of the game, and abundant laziness. I answer them all seriously--I hope that I will get part time work from this company. Each question is numbered by said service, and so each post on this blog will have its own number. This isn't advertising, where "reason #108" is actually just reason #4--I really do field as many questions as the number(s) suggest. "Don't Ask: Pokemon" is my collection of the funniest, stupidest, and most ridiculous questions I answer.

Enjoy, and please comment too!